As soon as....

For YEARS B.C. (Before Covid), there was a 3-word phrase that brought me an incredible amount of comfort. It reassured me that the future would be bright. It eased my mind and heart. It helped me sleep better! What was this magical phrase that felt like a healing balm for my soul??

AS SOON AS.

3 little words. They were powerful! (And responsible for many sighs of relief!)

“As soon as the kids are a little older, I’ll have more margin.”
“As soon as summer is over, we’ll get back to regular date nights.”
“As soon as we get back in town, we’ll get to know the neighbors better.”
“As soon as we are through the holiday season, we’ll slow down.”
“As soon as I’m finished checking facebook, I’ll hang out with the kids.”

Whew! So much good stuff is GOING to happen…”as soon as.” I had so much time!

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that my “as soon as” plans rarely came to pass. A simple example: we lived in Chicago for 5 years and there were lots of sights we planned to visit “as soon as”…but then we moved…abruptly. Missed that boat.

I soon learned that, most of the time, “as soon as” was just my brain’s sneaky way of convincing me not to take action. It convinced me to accept the excuse, “There are more favorable circumstances right around the corner! When those happen, everything will fall into place!”

Enter the Pandemic.

Control – lost. All of a sudden, we’ve ALL had to confront the reality that the future is uncertain. We can’t even PREDICT this afternoon, let alone tomorrow.

Are you ready for the crazy part? Covid didn’t take away our control – we NEVER HAD CONTROL. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one – it never has been. “As soon as” has ALWAYS been a MYTH and now we must decide how to respond.

The way I see it, we have 3 options:

• Option 1 – Dwell on visions of a bleak future filled with helplessness and hopelessness in which we can control nothing. Defeat. The End.

• Option 2 – Stick our head in the sand and hold tightly to our belief that things will be ok “as soon as things go back to normal.”

• Option 3 – Empower ourselves to focus on RIGHT NOW.

“Right now, I will begin to re-order my days starting with what’s MOST important.”
“Right now, I will protect windows of time to connect with my kids.”
“Right now, I will learn how to handle my emotions in a healthier ways.”
“Right now, I will prioritize meals with my family.”
“Right now, I will make that phone call I’ve been putting off.”
“Right now, I will get help with my marriage.”
“Right now, I will choose faith over fear.”

RIGHT NOW. It’s all we’ve got! Focusing on “right now” could change everything. Maybe “right now” will be when we finally flourish. Maybe “right now” will be when we finally find freedom FROM the future. Maybe “right now” will be when we do the things we’ve always felt called to do.

So here’s my challenge: what are you going to do RIGHT NOW? (not “as soon as” I’m done with a few more emails. Wink wink)

Kathryn Gohde